Leila's first two weeks of Nursery were fabulous. Everyday we went in she was happy to go. She said goodbye and was off and doing as soon as she got her coat off. Third week, something changed. Something BIG. All of a sudden she was *hysterical* when I tried to drop her off. She begged me not to leave, so I didn't. I took her home. The next day I took her again and again she cried. We got her involved in something interesting and I snuck out, feeling like a terrible mother. Thursday night she stayed awake in bed begging me not to leave her at nursery. She wouldn't go to sleep until I promised her that she wouldn't have to go. And Friday we tried again, but this time she spent half an hour at home in tears. Last week was horrible.
I have really been in some mommy-anguish. She was so incredibly excited to go before we even got her in the program. I drug my feet because I wanted her home with me and because, since Elie, we haven't tried to send anyone to preschool at two years old. But she kept asking and asking. And she was so.incredibly.excited.before she started. I don't need her to go, I don't have to work, there's no reason she *has* to go. I know it is a great program. There are always loads of teachers and helpers around and lots of different fun activities to keep the kiddos busy. They are kind and gentle and it is a nice environment. To add to all of this, she is always smiling when I pick her up and excited about what they did. But I HATE sneaking away and I don't like leaving her when I know that she is going to cry when she notices I am gone. By the time last Friday rolled around, I was ready to just pull her out of the program. Dadam and I talked and we decided to give it one more week.
This morning we woke up and she was so excited to go to school, but in between being excited she told Dadam she didn't want to go. Then she had a brief cry when I got out my jogging clothes and so I promised not to go without her. (Jogging without having to push the stroller is one of the perks of school for me, so that was hard to do!!) We sang some songs as we walked to school and as soon as she got in the door, she saw a pasting activity that she was so excited to do that she couldn't get out of her coat fast enough. But when I went to kiss her goodbye, her little eyes filled with tears and she said "I don't want to stay at Nursery." I wiped her tears and hung around until she got settled pasting again and then I left.
Oh....I don't know if this is the right thing to do! She loves being there, but she doesn't like me leaving. Her teacher suggested that I come to pick her up quite early and I did. She was having a GREAT time and was so excited to show me all the things she had done. We talked all about her day and shared a new song with the other kids. Tonight at dinner she was telling everyone that she was going to bring BittyBaby to school with her tomorrow. She was so excited.
I just hope she doesn't cry tomorrow. I don't know that nursery is worth all these tears.